Your finals at this moment: Va Tech 17, Va Techless 14; Cincy 30, Syracuse 10; Clemson 31, South Carolina 14; NC State 38, Miami 28. The fights for Georgia and Kansas City continue to tighten with 9ish minutes left. Also, no one's resigned in the last hour or so, despite all the screaming we've heard from you that they should. Now let's hear from you magnificent angry bastards:

Signal to Noise: Mizzou is dressed in some sort of mustard/piss yellow, and are appropriately shitting the bed against Kansas despite causing turnovers. Remember when Chase Daniel was a Heisman candidate and not just the pizza delivery guy? (No?)


lt.winslow: little known secret. patrick nix is, in fact, the antichrist. (Deadspin: your source for Satanic news.)

Signal to Noise: Lee Corso is apparently now doing Hooters ads like his buddy Dickie V. I wonder if he offered to show the waitresses his merkin. (We hear it goes more like this: #1 - Put your huge head in a box...)

Camp Tiger Claw: Trev Alberts: "You continue doing what you do. That's what you do." No wonder he's been a consistently shitty television personality for years. (Consistent performers are hard to come by.)


Tom: The color analyst in the KU-MU game just called Dezmon Briscoe Inspector Gadget. Excellent work cock hound. (We just like the phrase "cock hound". Release the cock hounds! Yes, it's lovely.)

anskyman2004: You have to love GT's triple option offense. Every girlfriend watching this game with their boyfriend lets out a collective "What the hell are they doing??" everytime Josh Nesbitt snaps the ball. (Well, maybe if your girlfriend is Patrick Nix.)

kingdonut66: Todd Reesing is getting more shit thrown at him than anyone in the Animal House food fight, yet Missouri's defense sucks and is wearing jerseys that they probably vomited on this morning before the game and therefore are awful. Big Twelve Football - Where Nothing Happens Outside Of The States Of Texas And Oklahoma. (Which is the exact inverse of real life.)


drscooter19: Captain Munnerlyn was hurt in the Clemson/South Carolina game. The announcers then made a joke about Captain Munnerlyn not being a captain on the team. If my name were Captain, I wouldn't be playing football. I would have killed myself by now. (To be fair, he was born Private Munnerlyn and worked his way up the family ranks.)

IconOGrill: Pretty sure I just saw Mark Richt say, "Bathtub pillows world peace clock," which is means he's channeling his inner Les Miles and the game is officially blown. (It's one thing to speak in tongues; it's another to translate them. We're officially impressed.)

Signal to Noise: 23 unanswered points for Georgia Tech and they lead 35-28 in Athens, partial help thanks to Matthew Stafford neutering himself by balancing 4 TDs with 2 picks... and Stafford still has a fetus face. (This isn't stopping Michael Phelps, now is it?)


lt.winslow: the canes just put jacory back in, down 10 with 7 minutes left to play... at which point i receive the following text: "if he leads us back again i'll drive to coral gables and blow him" (We're sure the offer still stands. He's dreamy!)

drscooter19: "South Carolina has the strongest forearms in the conference. They just keep jerking balls away from Clemson." There's a dick joke in here somewhere...just can't place my cock on it. (Keep probing.)