Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1: Kicking Will When Hes Down

WVU's Steve Slaton has 105 yards rushing with 6:35 to play in the first quarter.

They just had some lightning strikes around Ann Arbor, so Michigan/Central Mich., just got delayed for at least a half hour. And it just started to rain REALLY HARD down there. I've never seen anything like this. ESPN just announced that they're vacating their camera positions, and I called a buddy down at the game and it is complete chaos down there. 110 thousand people, all wanting to leave their seats. About 2/3rds of the crowd is still in the bowl, and everyone else is huddling underneath the bowl. My friend down there reports that everyone is on cell phones and the game may be delayed further as the half-hour delay gets reset during each lightning strike. And enterprising students are sneaking down to lower sections, on the gamble that the original seat holders may not come back for a rain-delayed pushover game." - GordThug

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"Joe Dailey = Eric Crouch - Speed - Arm + self-tanner." - QuasiHick

"Nike has apparently given Illinois the upside down version of the Miami bra strap on the jerseys (ie, the frowny version) - and as a Cane alumnus, I will readily say that Illinois is screwed." - JoshDaCane

"The sideline reporter at the VT vs. UNC game just said he was 'hot and bothered, but that's another story.' Maybe Erin Andrews is near." - Andrew Martinez

"Illinois has a QB named Juice Williams. Is it too much to ask that he have a big game so the announcer can say things like 'Juice slices through the defense" or 'Juice is just KILLING them right now'." - Iron Chef Xenu

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"Here's a joke for you: I'm a Duke football fan, and I don't go to Duke." - LukKy13BaLLeR

"Pam Ward's sideline reporter is Jimmy Dykes. Sometimes, the jokes write themselves." - MidnightGambler5

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"The Virginia Tech Players are taking a multivitamin that has a thermometer sensor in there that is measuring their core temperature. If they reach 102 degrees then they have to cool down before they are allowed to play." - beisbolct

And now, let's rub some salt into Will's wounds...

"Apparently, the Will Leitch curse extends beyond baseball..." - Norcalvb

"Curse of Leitch in full effect in Jersey. It could be that the Illini are just terrible, but 20 points on the board by the State University of New Jersey still feels like Will's doing." - Iron Chef Xenu

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"Words used to describe the Illini thus far: "nervous," "butterflies," "no confidence," and "fragile" (must be Italian). How exactly are they only 11 point dogs?" - SPS

"Somewhere, Will is curled in the fetal position, crying histerically since Illinois is getting housed by Rutgers... yes, rutgers" - Purduepaul

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"If he leaves now, there's still enough time for Illinois to make a 27 point comeback." - Arlington W

"It's a good thing Mike Gottfried is covering this Rutgers/Illinois game... Will is gonna need some tips on stroke recovery. Is it cool to make stroke jokes?" - danny m 27

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