Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2

"Do you ever suspect the signs behind the GameDay crew are longer and better thought out than any paper those kids ever submitted?" - Tuffy Rhodes

"Apparently, Tom Selleck is coaching the Illini Defense. Maybe that explains things. Sadly they're still beating Sparty." - Critical Fanatic


"I'm pretty sure that Lou Holtz just said that Iowa State's locker room is "all pink on the inside." - andtinez

"ESPN anchors discussing the forthcoming Michigan game. I was only half-listening, but tuned in just long enough to hear the following phrase uttered: 'Spoken like a guy whose girlfriend was stolen away by a band of gophers.' What the hell did I miss? - Holly

"As a Michigan State fan, I have one question for TO: Do you have any leftover painkillers?" - Evan, Jackson, MI

"At this point, I think the only folks still watching the Wisconsin-Indiana game on the Deuce are Wisconsin fans too drunk to change the station, gloating Purdue fans, Deadspin commentators looking for low-hanging fruit for snarky comments, and lesbians with a crush on Pam Ward." - Bort


"Do you think there is actually someone on the other end of Ron Zook's headset, or is he just talking to himself?" - MajorHarris4Heisman

"That MSU radio host is now 10 points and 15 minutes away from bringing a noose to his next postgame show." - MWpuckhead


"Did anyone else catch Sean McDonough's use of the correct plural form of stadium (i.e. 'stadia')?" - tenfour728

"Too many men on the field for Illinois. I think I just saw Zook using his fingers on his hand to count the players. Oh well, is it wrong to have a Boner now?" - Kyle Wilson


"Tennessee-Memphis, ESPN: 'With their backs against the wall, [the Memphis defense] stands strong for their coach.' Tennessee leads 27-0." - Holly

"Thank God Illinois held on... I really wanted will to keep writing." - yanxfan421324

Share This Story

Get our newsletter