Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Hugh Johnson Project - Update 4

Illustration for article titled Hugh Johnson Project - Update 4

This one is the Mike Gottfried/Paul Maguire/Gary Thorne hatred edition. And we're wrapping this up for the day. Many many thanks. I think it's been a success.


The announcer just said Akron QB Luke Getsky enjoys dipping his balls in water to see how it felt to play with them, or something of that nature. - aLoneTrebleClef

Gary Thorne just called Rutgers' Manny Collins a "sophomore senior cornerback." Two of those three are correct. He's also confused the white Brian Leonard with the black Ray Rice twice, so he's really rolling today. - lozo

Gary Thorne has made several mentions of the fact that Rutgers and Carolina have only played twice in over a hundred years. I don't get what the big deal is. Carolina plays Rutgers' Durham campus every year. They give out a bell and everything. - eirishis

Is Northern Illinois allowed to tap out? - Matt Privett

Doug Flutie has said "carrying the load" 3 times so far on the halftime report. I'm thinking he has something besides college football on his mind. - Sam

The lesbian on ESPN 2 just said muff. - Unsilent Majority

Was Mike Gottfried given the opportunity to announce the Penn State game through the Make a Wish foundation? - aLoneTrebleClef


When did Gottfried have his stroke? He did have a stroke, right? - Dennis

Watching this Penn State game, I realize that Pam Ward has bigger balls than Mike Gottfried. - Quack


Is it just me, or does the New Bob Dylan in those iPod commercials bear a striking resembalance to Al Davis? - SlickBomb


Oh my god. Paul Maguire is doing the Cal-Tennessee game. Fuck. - Stan

There are few things worse than hearing "I'm going to turn it over to my partner, Paul Maguire." - P.T., Austin


Backup (extremely backup) Texas quarterback from last season Chance Mock was shown on the bigscreen (huge ass screen) talking to someone on his cellphones, the entire stadium went on a relentless booing session, causing him to have to hang up. Fun. - sumedh

I'm sorry to see that Doug Flutie's mullet didn't make the transition to the world of broadcasting. - Larry Bird Flu


The girl giving the campus tour in the Rutgers commercial was expectedly quite busted. - Joel F.

A player for Louisiana Tech just did a mini lambeau leap. Two problems. 1.) They're playing at Nebraska, 2.) The first row was empty so he landed on a bunch of chairs. Practice makes perfect. - Franklin Comes Alive


On ESPN Radio's College Gameday show, Dave Revson referred to the new "Dr Pepper Pick 'em Contest" segment as "Dr Pecker." - Metatext