I Was There Spring Break Edition: Strippers In Mexico

In 2007, "Lyle" went to Puerto Vallarta for his last college spring break, this is his story.

My story actually involves two spring break fails. There was a large group, but 4 of us had 1 room together at a pretty nice place.

I had been hooking up with a girl back on campus the weeks leading up to spring break, and it just so happens she was staying at another hotel about a 10 minutes away. We'll call her Sara. First day we go on a booze cruise Sara was not on, however a dozen girls from her sorority were.

We get wasted of course and when we get back, one of my buddies, we'll call him Steve, and I get 2 of the young ladies back to our room. We have a suite style room, where there is a kitchen and living room / pull out couch downstairs and bedroom upstairs. The bottom room was occupied by some people drinking and playing beer pong, so we head upstairs. I hint at Steve that maybe he should try the bathroom or something as I didn't want any of Sara's friends to see what was going on. He's wasted and says "whatever man! We call the bed!" So I throw some cushions on the floor to make a make-shift bed and begin going at it with this girl. She stops and says she feels bad for Sara because she knew I'd been hooking up with, but I reply "she won't find out, I won't say anything". She agreed not to say anything either, but no sex. Fine I thought, I'll be seeing Sara tomorrow and have plenty of that the rest of the week. We proceed, and she kept her promise. Perfect.

Problem was the girl my friend was banging on the bed made no such promise. By the next night word was out and I was now strictly off limits to all the girls in the sorority, including Sara and the girl from the previous day. To make matters worse, my friends had all paired off with Sara's friends, so I was stuck being "that asshole" all week at all times. Karma, however, would not wait long to get my friend back.

The last night we made it to a club and got hammered, but in exiting the club I was separated from the group and began a walk home by myself. Suddenly, a cab speeds past me and then slams on its breaks, screams into reverse and screeches to a halt beside me. I think I'm about to get anal raped and robbed by some crazy coked up Mexican cab driver, when out pops Steve's head… "STRIP CLUBBBB!!!". I hop in and off we go. We are the only 4 spring breakers in the club and 4 Mexican strippers immediately come up to us and start sitting on our laps and feeling us up (this may come as a shock but they are not attractive). The one sitting on Steve's lap pops out her tits and says "you like?" He mumbles something when suddenly she grabs her tits and starts lactating all over his shirt. He yells in disgust as he tries to get the stripper off his lap and runs out the front door. We are all rolling on the floor laughing as we follow after him to catch a cab home.

Even though I would run into her numerous times over the few months, Sara never spoke to me again and Steve is still haunted to this day by those disgusting Mexican ta-tas spewing leche all over his polo. By the way, I snapped this pic the next day of Steve (in blue) going through security at the Mexican airport wearing this. [The beer bandoleer] was full when we first got in line and that is his boarding pass holstered to his right.

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