The Patriots are, in all likelihood, going to win again, and it’s going to be awful. The question now is: What is the worst possible way they could win? A 52-6 blowout? A three-TD lead for L.A. followed by yet another miraculous comeback by everyone’s least-favorite fancy dog? Aaron Donald breaking Brady’s ankle and Brian Hoyer pulling it out somehow? I hate it all.
Third-string Deadcast host Tim Marchman and fourth-string Deadcast host me invited Actual Football Expert Dom Cosentino on to discuss whether the Rams stand a chance, plus various more tangentially Super Bowl-related storylines—including how hard Trump will hump the MAGA-loving Pats during his pre-game interview, why anyone would care enough to censor Maroon 5's thoughts on Colin Kaepernick, and whether it’s too late for me to ethically become a Rams fan.
After that, plus a brief detour on why you are an idiot for hoping your team signs Anthony Davis, we got into the real issues of the day: the relative horniness of extraterrestrial life and whether JFK ever ate a taco. The real fireworks, though, came when we started discussing food. We berated Marchman for eating sardines and kimchi on toast in an open-plan coworking space, and we screamed about one beloved coworker’s asinine take that all booze and coffee tastes bad and thus the secret to life is drinking exclusively lime Red Bull and turning one’s blood to battery acid. Some day we may run out of things to be performatively annoyed by. Fortunately for this podcast, this was not that day.
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