They see me trollin'

Are you a single-celled organism? Do you feel like too much contemporary sports talk is just a bunch of nerds and women screaming about analytics, or that everyone on the TV talks too fast? Do you miss smoking in hospital wards? Then, Jason Whitlock has dug up some stale, low-hanging fruit disguised as sports takes, just for you.

Two decades ago, Hunter S. Thompson opined in a column that, “the downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.” In 2023, look no further than Whitlock. On Tuesday morning, Whitlock used his platform to whine about the visibility of women’s basketball on SportsCenter.

Of all the things to get riled up about, ranting about women’s hoops being too front and center is almost cartoonishly misogynistic. When Whitlock’s not running around baring his dark soul, Whitlock is on a trolling spree. Twitter has provided him with a new avenue to test out his bad takes. Whitlock is a dark soul. There’s no depth to him besides an insidious desire to pile on, show solidarity to supremacy movements and see everyone as miserable and grievance-filled as he is.

For every obnoxious Stephen A. Smith rant, Whitlock is a few levels of hell beneath stirring up the lowest common denominator to remain relevant. At a time when women in sports are facing threats of violence in increasing volume, Whitlock is the rabble-rouser with a platform ginning up anger over their presence on SportsCenter. The responses to his grievance tweet are a series of delusional complaints about how women’s sports are receiving more prominent placement than male athletes.

But here’s the kicker. For all his complaining, he’s still watching SportsCenter. Nobody told him women’s basketball comes with the package? Whitlock is the only one kicking up dust about women’s basketball leading off SportsCenter’s because it’s his modus operandi.

His twisted mind conjured up some anti-masculinity, feminist agenda at work within the largely male-operated confines of ESPN because their highlight menu expanded on a Monday night, because he’s a simple-minded head-ass. ESPN struck a half-billion dollar deal with the NCAA in 2011 that stipulated the network air highly ranked women’s games. Caitlin Clark is the best player in the country and her leading-off highlights during a career night when there’s no prominent story to take the lead is common sense to anyone with adequate critical thinking skills.

The Worldwide Leader also has a multi-million dollar deal with the WNBA to air two dozen regular season games a year and Clark is expected to be one of the brightest new faces in the league next season. Watching her and a slew of other women’s basketball highlights won’t poison minds as much as listening to Whitlock’s spiel will.

Variety is the spice of life. ESPN leads off every debate show with the Dallas Cowboys, or a silly segment where Stephen A. Smith mocks “America’s Team.” Jalen Rose, recently subtweeted on the subject of Stephen A’s tired jubilation after every Cowboys loss. There is so much more to mine than the latest out of JerryWorld or the superficial trappings of rearranging the quarterback hierarchy after every matchup. There’s also a world outside of men’s sports.

Whitlock is the same journalist who championed Kyrie Irving and Kanye West during scandals revolving around their antisemitic comments, screaming about agendas and women’s sports isn’t surprising. He’s got a history of this sort of thing. He’s perfect for the fringe audience on right-leaning Blaze TV where his conspiracy theories can thrive in darkness. Whitlock is a bottomfeeder catering to the market where his bread is buttered. If anyone has an agenda, it’s him and his obsessive admiration for Ron DeSantis and the extreme right has crept into his work. He’ll continue to spew nonsense because Whitlock is a joke without a punchline seeking attention.