Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

If somebody could send Whitlock a link to his latest column and also dispatch a helicopter, that'd be great.

He just tweeted:

I'm on 15 South at Baker and power is out and can't buy gas. This is not a joke. Don't have enough gas to get to Barstow. Need help.


We know Whitlock spent his Labor Day weekend in Vegas, and he's apparently on his way back to L.A. He hasn't quite made it. He's currently in the tiny roadside town of Baker, Calif, pop. 735. The power is out, the pumps aren't working, and he doesn't have enough gas to make the next town. He may die out there, among the snakes and scorpions and former boomtowns of the American West, with nary a mobile-friendly link in sight. "The way of the world is to bloom and to flower and die but in the affairs of men there is no waning and the noon of his expression signals the onset of night."

Whitlock's been known to Tweetlie before, so grain of salt on this, but if true it's absolutely our favorite thing of ever.

Update, 5:55 p.m.: Whitlock has been rescued. Everyone return to your homes.

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