Jim Edmonds To The Cubs? Nooooooooooo!

Through it all, through all the hamboning and declining skills, we Cardinals fans have always loved Jim Edmonds. How do you not love a guy who has tattoos of both Darryl Kile and Josh Hancock? But man, if he signs with the Cubs, as has been heavily rumored, we might have a problem.

Jim Edmonds? Wearing a Cubs jersey? Perish the thought. But Cubs fans are even less thrilled about the possibility than Cardinals fans are. To say the least.

• Out Of Right Field: "Nobody in Chicago likes him. Nobody in Chicago will EVER like him. Nobody in Chicago likes his upper cut swing. Nobody in Chicago likes how he turns routine plays into "spectacular" with his unnecessary diving. Nobody in Chicago likes how he sprints around the bases after he hits a home run. Nobody in Chicago likes the fact that he wears guyliner."

• Bleed Cubbie Blue: "If the Cubs insist on signing a washed-up, injured, 38-year-old centerfielder who was released by a team in desperate need of hitting, at least send Jim Edmonds to Iowa for a week or two first, and let Pie play. The bottom line is: the Cubs are 23-15, winners of four in a row and five of six, and scoring metric buttloads of runs. Why mess with success? Please, Jim. Don't do it."

• Hire Jim Essian: "Jim Hendry, you've done an awful lot of dumb things in your tenure as the Chicago Cubs' general manager. You signed Neifi Perez a couple of times. You thought Shawn Estes belonged in a starting rotation. You traded Kyle Farnsworth right after a crap year instead of right after a good year. You ate that whole cheesecake that had been sitting out on the counter for a week, even though I told you that the top shouldn't feel slimy. I've forgiven you for most of those things. But so help you God, if you sign Jim Edmonds, you are dead to me."

It is rare to find anything that Cubs fans and Cardinals fans agree on. The horror of Jim Edmonds in a Cubs uniform is one of them. This is not going to end well.

By the way, this move is probably not good business for Edmonds' new restaurant/nightclub in St. Louis.