Joakim Noah Will Emerge From His Crypt, Sign With The Grizzlies

Joakim Noah played 1,055 minutes for the New York Knicks, earning $72.6 million dollars for his service. Highlights from that time include: a perfect mime of his shooting form by DeMarcus Cousins, a 20-game suspension for violating the league’s anti-drug policy, serious injury woes, fights with coach Jeff Hornacek, an informal exile from the franchise, and a deteriorating personal relationship that somehow accelerated his expulsion from the roster. The remaining $37.8 million owed to Noah will be paid out through the 2021-22 season, since the Knicks, for reasons that are not entirely clear, hampered their future cap flexibility by waiving and stretching Noah’s contract in October.

The center hasn’t played a minute of professional ball since Jan. 23 of this year. He hasn’t logged 20 minutes in a game since Jan. 29 of last year. But after all that—hey! A fresh start for Noah awaits in Memphis, and on a respectable 13-9 Grizz squad, no less.

Jah bless.