Joey Porter, Security Risk

As almost everyone surely remembers from last season's Pittsburgh Steelers postseason run, linebacker Joey Porter is insane. Porter's patented crazy land technique is, to make sure he's appropriately pumped up for whatever endeavor he is about to undertake, concoct some insult or slight that his opponent has foisted upon him, and then react with imaginary righteous anger. This tendency was most memorably mocked by The Mighty MJD ("Joey Porter's Advice Column") and ESPN's Chuck Klosterman ("In order to be exceptionally unstoppable, you also need to be psychologically immature; you need to be like a 12-year-old girl on Myspace.com. You need fragile feelings. You need to have an ability to find motivating anger within anecdotal conversation. In all likelihood, this is that abstract quality that makes Joey Porter a difference maker, and it's the reason he'll probably shatter Matt Hasselbeck's femur on Sunday night: Joey Porter is crazy enough to care about everything.")

Anyway, it's one thing to fire yourself up about Jerramy Stevens. It's another thing to fire yourself up about President Bush. But that's what Porter has done, leading up to the defending champs' meeting with the Prez next month.

"Yeah, I got something to say to Bush, I'm going to have a swagger when I walk in there, too," Porter said, laughing loudly. "I'm looking forward to it. I have something to tell him, too. I don't like the way things are running right now. I feel like he has to give me some of my money back, so I got something to tell Bush."

Warning to the Secret Service: Watch out for the guy wearing the eyeblack, shoulder pads and mouthpiece, the one crouching in the corner, bobbing up and down, whispering, "We must protect this HOUSE!" He could be trouble.

Porter Expects To Jaw At White House Visit [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]