John McCain To Save Jack Johnson's Honor

Former heavyweight champion Jack Johnson spent a year in jail for having sex with a white woman—who was also his wife—but a pardon sixty years after his death should make up for all that.
John McCain, who has obviously been very bored since November, will enter a resolution in Congress asking President Obama to pardon Johnson from his trumped up conviction for violating the Mann Act. ("Transporting women across state lines for immoral purposes") The first black heavyweight champ of the world was forced to flee the country for 10 years and then spent 12 months in Leavenworth when he came back, because white folks didn't like Johnson's habit of beating them up and taking their women. Although to be honest, white folks kinda deserved it.
When he came out of retirement to fight the great Jack Johnson, [retired champion Jim] Jeffries declared: 'I am going into this fight for the sole purpose of proving that a white man is better than a Negro.
Yeah, Johnson clobbered him into submission after 15 rounds. But that's not my favorite anecdote from Johnson's Wikipedia page:
On April 5, 1915, Johnson lost his title to Jess Willard ... With a crowd of 25,000 at the Vedado Racetrack in Havana, Cuba, Johnson was K.O.'d in the 26th round of the scheduled 45-round fight.
Forty-five rounds?! Do you get a free casket at least?


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