John Rocker Destroys Everything You Thought You Knew About Steroids

It will come as a shock, a shock, we tell you, to learn that our friend John Rocker was on steroids. Throughout this book tour, we've been impersonating Rocker at every stop, and we need steroids just to get into character.

Fortunately, Rocker is being the lovable galoot that he is, confessing to steroid use in the third person.

He also said that "Bud Selig is a clown and should do the entire world a favor and kill himself." Rocker, no stranger to controversy, made those comments on Atlanta radio station Rock 100.5. Later Monday, he told Atlanta sports talk radio station 680 The Fan that "between 40 to 50 percent of baseball players are on steroids" and "in 2000 Bud Selig knew John Rocker was taking the juice."

It's sad, really, to see a guy we very much enjoy reduced to following the irrefutably foolproof career path paved by Jose Canseco. Sheesh, he's even dressing like the guy.

John, call us: We know some people. And by "people," we mean, well, we pretty much just know you. But not Biblically.

John Rocker Was On Steroids. Shocker. [UmpBump]