This is wonderful. Reds utility man Brandon Dixon made his first career pitching appearance Monday night, in the ninth inning of an eventual 10-3 loss to the Indians. His pitching line was great: Dixon threw 10 total pitches; no one of them was harder than 74 miles per hour; the slowest came in under 66 miles per hour. MLB’s play-by-play, perhaps overwhelmed by this feast of slow-balls, decided to label every one of them a curve.

You’d think, by the tenth straight curve, one of baseball’s great mashers would’ve been all over that sucker, but there you would be wrong. Have a look at what Dixon’s loopy deuce did to Jose Ramirez, to end the inning:

Fucking owned! Dixon got three outs on 10 pitches, without allowing a baserunner, and almost certainly achieved the greatest moment in his pitching career, such as it is.