Joshua Cribbs Gets His Wife The Worst Birthday Present Ever

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

• Nets win! Nets win! Nets win! Their 10th on the year, they assure that they will not have the NBA's worst record of all time. Because as bad as New Jersey is, at least it's not Philadelphia. I'm talking basketball. I think.

•Here's the text of Bob Uecker's WWE Hall of Fame induction speech. Not a single mention of Miles Knobnoster's headgear. How quickly they forget where they came from.

•A study of team payrolls finds the Yankees have the highest per-player salaries, barely beating Real Madrid and Barça. But for bandwaggoners, they're neck and neck with Man U.

•Vegas installs Duke as a 7-5 favorite to win it all. Oddly enough, those were the same odds four rounds ago, thanks to the south region.

•Josh Cribbs spent the day at a Playboy Golf event. No problem with that. He's young, it's all in clean fun, and looks like a good time. Problem might be that it was also his wife's birthday. (Don't worry, he took her to Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles that night. Seriously.)

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Happy Passover. We'll try to keep our posts yeast-free.