Just change this stupid end zone fumble rule already

I hate bad rules in sports. I hate them even more when they cost teams a game. I hate them even more when it potentially costs a team a playoff win. The Browns were the subject of my least favorite rule in sports – the shitty end zone fumble touchback thingy.

Yes, I know you are clearly astounded at the level of professionalism and detailed knowledge I have of the NFL playbook. The rule in question details how if a player fumbles the ball through the endzone and out of bounds, the ball is not only turned over (even though the other team doesn’t recover it), but they also get it as a touchback and magically gain 25 yards of field position. At no other time in football does a fumble result in a field possession change, nor at any other time does a fumble out of bounds result in a turnover. So why the hell are we rewarding both of these things? Here’s the play:

Firstly, the Chiefs calling their player “Dirty Dan” when he clearly led with his helmet and should have been flagged for that dirty hit, but wasn’t, is what we in the industry like to call “irony.” Secondly, why are we punishing a player for trying to score a touchdown? This rule needs to be changed, badly. Treat it like any other fumble out of bounds, and give the ball back to the offense at the spot of the fumble, since there was no clear and obvious recovery by a defensive player. Easy.

This isn’t complicated. It’s stupid. Also, miss me with the “THEN DON’T FUMBLE” bullshit. This fumble rule is different from all the others for literally no reason.