This Kansas City Chiefs team is already legendary. Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce and Co. led by Andy Reid, will never have to buy a plate of Jack Stack in K.C. again. I personally know way too many Chiefs fans, so it’s nice to see them not have to pretend Elvis Grbac, Alex Smith, or Trent Green were good.
However, it’s pleasant to see them cringe over something amid this parade of success. May I introduce you to the song Chocolate Cake, sung by an extremely dedicated Melissa Etheridge.
This is clearly Kansas City’s version of the “Super Bowl Shuffle.” Just look at how much the hosts (below) of Good Morning Football are enjoying the alt rock guitar riffs, hastily written lyrics, and smoky vocals.
I know on-air talent have to pretend to like musical acts who play their show, and that’s why I could never be on a studio show. This is the kind of content you share with the group chat after one too many pro-K.C. texts. Maybe do it regardless because you know they’ve watched every clip, fan video, and angle of that comeback win.
All dynasties need something fun you can knock them for — think Tom Brady holding a baby goat picture, Steph Curry’s dad shoes, or LeBron James’ hairline. I can, and do, bring up Hill’s transgressions, but you can’t really use that to tease someone. It’s more of a somber subject, and not funny like Reid’s clock mismanagement.
And we needed this if Reid is going to continue to manage the clock correctly. Melissa Etheridge draped in Chiefs gear, singing a song that compares the Super Bowl to cake, because Reid likes cake, from her home studio/basement is one of the most Midwest things I’ve ever seen.
She throws in a “kingdom” as a nod to Chiefs Kingdom, and some allusions to the win against the Bills. (If there was ever a situation of a team over celebrating a massive win — think Vikings-Saints in 2018 — ripe to get pasted by an unlikely Super Bowl team — think Eagles 38, Vikings 7 — it’s this weekend with Cincinnati-Kansas City.) There may be more Easter eggs in there, but I’ve already listened to that song enough for 20 lifetimes.
The thing about being popular and winning Super Bowls is you can’t control who your fans are. At least Kansas City fans, unlike these recent Dallas Cowboys ones, have a title to go with their version of “Sad Cowboys fan caught crying at playoff game with sadder side chick.” That’s like if “Chocolate Cake” had come out when Kansas City fans still had to talk themselves into Matt Cassel.
Unintentional comedy often comes in the form of wholesome content. “Chocolate Cake” is inoffensive in that it doesn’t have any curse words or explicit subject matter, but it’s hard to ignore the sexual connotation when a song starts out with “Once you taste something so good and sweet for the first time, getting back there’s the only thing on your mind.”
I know she’s talking about a Super Bowl and not about losing her virginity, so it’s technically not offensive, which is about as nice of a thing as I can say about it.