Fox Sports personality and Garbage Time host Katie Nolan was among the first to call bullshit on this “How To Land A Husband At The Masters” post that appeared on co-worker Clay Travis’s Fox-owned Outkick The Coverage blog when it popped up last week. That the outspoken and generally awesome Nolan would call it out on Twitter is only marginally surprising; that she went forward and conducted a whole segment on it during last night’s episode is noteworthy.
If you haven’t read the post—and given the probability you’ll self-mutilate yourself after consuming it, we’ll have to urge you to continue not reading the post—it’s a shoddily-written and piss-poor paean to leveraging one’s feminine charms at Augusta National written under the byline of “Rebecca Johnson,” whose work (as Nolan noted) hasn’t been found anywhere else on Travis’s blog or elsewhere on the Internet. It contains such gems as:
I’m 31, attractive, and have a great tan year round since I live in southern California.
For the rest of the afternoon, countless groups of men smiled (gawked?) at us and would strike up conversations.
I would estimate that at least 75% of the adult patrons at the practice round that day were male. And the females in attendance were with their significant other. So Lauren and I stood out. Seriously. The Tournament is like live Tinder heaven for a single girl. And there’s NO competition!
As we walked from Amen Corner to #16, we were engaged in conversation, laughing and smiling, and we couldn’t keep guys away. It was like they wanted whatever Kool-Aid we were drinking. Two guys followed us from #16 all the way to the driving range and kept telling us how fun and refreshing it was to see two girls enjoying themselves but also being nice to them.
(Many of us were convinced this was not the work of “Rebecca Johnson,” but of Clay Travis himself writing under a pseudonym; nobody believed a human being would write these things, and Clay Travis definitely belongs to the Canis genus. A person claiming to be the Rebecca Johnson who wrote the post later turned up in the comments; here’s her Facebook. Either way, the entire thing reads less like “How to be a single woman at The Masters” and more like “How Clay Travis wishes women acted toward him at The Masters.”)
But my criticism is irrelevant here. Go ahead and watch Nolan’s segment above, then consider if anything like that would ever fly over at ESPN. Keith Olbermann only dreams of having the freedom to attack the bullshit we see every day on, say, First Take the way Nolan does a fellow Fox Sports property. That’s refreshing, but it would be even more refreshing if Fox treated Nolan like a real talent and gave her, you know, an actual studio instead of a closet.