Washington Defenders? Washington Armada? Washington RedHogs?
Those might be among the finalists for the new name for the Washington Football Team, which according to CBS and The Washington Post, is down to three options for its new branding.
So far as the public knows, however, it’s still an eight-team list, with Brigade, Commanders, Presidents, RedWolves, and Washington Football Team also possibilities to have made the final three.
They’re all incredibly stupid names, especially Defenders. Imagine referring to the Defenders’ quarterback. It’s just ludicrous. The Washington Football Team is the stupidest of all, because it isn’t even a name, but that’s exactly the one that they should stick with.
After all those years with the racial slur as their team name, when Washington finally gave it up last year, it was incredible that they didn’t have a new option waiting in the wings, as if Daniel Snyder and his brain trust never thought the day would come until it actually did.
Funny thing about it: it worked. The Washington Football Team worked. Perhaps nothing fit the spirit of wishing we could all rage-quit 2020 than the Washington football team becoming the Washington Football Team, and then they went and won the NFC East at 7-9. And somehow, the name wound up being fun. Football Team coach Ron Rivera. Football Team pass rusher Chase Young. Football Team punter Tress Way. The Football Team went to the playoffs. The Football Team wrecked the Cowboys on Thanksgiving. The Football Team won that division after starting 2-7.
The uniforms were stylish, the gear was cool and quirky, and everything about it worked once you got used to it. Washington Football Team. That’s what a lot of us were calling them for years anyway, and certainly will continue to. The RedWolves should be playing a Tuesday night game on ESPNU, not Sundays in the NFL. Presidents is somehow even worse. Just stay the Washington Football Team, the name that makes everybody happy, while also making no one happy, because it truly isn’t anything at all.
Except a constant reminder, which the NFL and all of us need, that they spent 1932 through 2019 leaning into racism as their brand. They shouldn’t get to have a new name, and they should consider themselves fortunate that Football Team turned out to work as well as it has.