Here is Lakers guard Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, boldly and tragically attempting the old off-the-backboard self-assist during last night’s loss to the Clippers:

Maybe the best part of this is Caldwell-Pope wiping his hands off on his jersey after the ball sailed off into the crowd, like his fingers might’ve been coated in delicious melted lard. You’re not fooling anybody, bucko! The NBA classifies this blooper, hilariously, as an “out of bounds lost ball turnover,” which is an incredibly generous way of saying my man just chucked the ball out of bounds without taking a shot or attempting a pass.