Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion
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All right, so here's the situation. You're a middle-of-the-rotation starter whose team is trying to trade him. You're a former first overall pick who parlayed one good season into a multi-million-dollar deal. You are married to a woman who is attractive, but not as attractive as she so desperately wants everyone to believe. Your team has just asked you to put on a Santa costume and give out gifts to needy children. Oh, and some local television reporter has shoved a microphone in your face and is asking you — while you're wearing the Santa costume, by the way, and while your wife is shoving her breasts in the face of terrified children — what your thoughts on potentially leaving New York are. You're on live TV.

Take your time, Kris Benson. And cross your fingers that somewhere, someplace, somehow, there is somewhere very far from here, where your life is different somehow, where you have a nice wife named Taylor, and she bakes pies and supports your career and doesn't threaten to sleep with all your teammates were you to ever be unfaithful. (Oh, and doesn't always threaten to kill the dog.) That place has to be out there, Kris. Maybe Kansas City.


NY Mets Christmas Party Gallery [Newsday]

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