Last Night Belonged To Crazy-Ass Lance Stephenson

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Aside from Paul George's second-half explosion and its madcap ending, last night's game between the Heat and Pacers was pretty damn unwatchable. That's what happens when the best player in the universe has to spend most of the game on the bench with the foul trouble and the Pacers decide to do... whatever the hell it is the Pacers do. But at least there was Lance Stephenson, who continued to be a giant weirdo.

There was the simultaneously sensual yet threatening blow into LeBron James's ear, of course, but Lance was doing other Lance things all night.


Here he is wandering into an impromptu Heat huddle without even pretending to give any type of fucks:

And here he is flopping like someone just fired a 12-gauge into his chest:


And here he is, somehow, stealing the show on one of the game's most exciting possessions:

While watching that play live, I almost missed LeBron's incredible chasedown block, because I couldn't take my eyes off of Lance. There was the exaggerated, manic defense, followed by Lance just tripping over his own damn feet and hitting the ground, followed by Lance deciding that maybe he'd just spend the rest of the game chilling on the floor, followed by Roy Hibbert having to physically yank Lance back onto his feet like a guy trying to convince his little brother to get a fucking grip already.

So yeah, LeBron's block was fantastic, but all I could think after that sequence was the same thing I'd been thinking all game: "What the hell is Lance doing, like, ever?" And honestly, there are worse ways to enjoy a basketball game.