Last Night's Winner: No Comment

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like some creatures we can actually comment on without pissing off our lawyers.

Mine That Bird. The Kentucky Derby winner is now with CoCo (third clip), too, along with Pee-wee Herman and most of the human race. That makes three species of mammal now that can't stand Leno. And Sasha Cohen, who did some twirly shit at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships that made people cheer and think that Cohen might just make the Olympics team at the advanced age of 73.

Last night's loser: Volume shooting. Kobe needed 31 shots to score 31 points in the Lakers' loss to the Cavs last night. Meanwhile, LeBron put up another tidy line (37-5-9). The guy is 25 years old and quietly having a career year — or at least one equal to his 2008-09 — and he has become such a phenomenon that no less than Bill Simmons is writing his inner voiceover. At some point soon the Kobe-LeBron "debate" will exist only in the minds of people stuck in traffic on the 10.