LeBron Plays Basketball Poorly; City of Cleveland Placed On Suicide Watch

The Cleveland Cavaliers were absolutely pasted tonight, at home, by the old and previously-thought-to-be-decrepit Celtics. LeBron James was not much help. It's big "Uh Oh" time in Northeastern Ohio.

It's probably safe to say that Cleveland fans were already anxious going into tonight. Three NBA semi-finalists have already completed their sweeps, yet the team with the best record in the league and the MVP on their side was struggling to contain Boston's Over-The-Hill Gang. Now they must be inconsolable. Tonight was bad. Like ugly, record-setting, curse-your-parents-for-bringing-you-into-this cruel-world bad.

Tonight was not just about a poor point-guard matchup. The Celtics crushed them from every angle, while Cleveland's main man laid a gigantic rotten egg. James made three field goals. Two of them were layups and none were in the first half. He didn't shut down any of the guys that needed to be shut down. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

The plan was: LeBron wins a title, curses are lifted, contracts are signed, jerseys are retired, sunshine and lollipops for all. Instead, it's becoming increasingly apparent that—elbow or no elbow—he is never winning a championship in Cleveland. He's not winning one in New York either, but at least he'll get good Chinese food there.

It was really sweet when the whole team accepted that MVP trophy by LeBron's side. They sure do know how to have fun. Too bad they don't know how to win. Sure, in the regular season fun goes a long way. In the playoffs, when it gets real and the good guys are separated from the champions...?

Okay, okay. It's not over yet. Winning a Game 6 on the road would sure be legendary. But does this guy have any legendary left in him? I'm not sure Clevelanders want to know the answer.

Celtics hand Cavaliers worst home playoff loss in team history [ESPN] [Photo: AP]