Yes yes, pack full of old football cards, some pair of bespectacled doofuses sitting in pastel chairs and talking about them—I believe by this point in the Let’s Remember Some Guys experience we all understand each other on this matter. When I sat down with Deadspin’s resident NFL expert and Yinzer ambassador Dom Cosentino to rip some packs of 1990 and 1991 NFL Pro Set cards—there are more installments to come in this thrilling odyssey, about which I will offer no spoilers beyond “there are a surprising number of offensive linemen”—I had no reason to suspect that this would be significantly different from our previous installments. There is a rhythm to the experience, a certain wistful music that runs through it all. I know the tune even if I don’t always know all the words. But.
But this was not quite like that. Yes of course we opened these goofy packs of Pro Set Series II and beheld and discussed the backup quarterbacks and pulling guards and mid-round draft picks within, but somehow along the way I found myself in a position in which I had to explain a personal practice of mine that I am aware might appear unorthodox to others. That practice is this: sometimes if I’m cooking something for dinner that I know tends to spatter and spit, I will wear one of the many old NFL replica jerseys that I own over or instead of a t-shirt, both because I don’t really mind if I get some olive oil on my Charlie Batch Lions road jersey and because I find that cooking with the mentality of a Charlie Batch (or Tyler Thigpen, or Tim Couch, or most recently Eric Moulds) helps produce better results. I am aware that this is unusual. I defy you to taste the meals I make at home and to behold my comparatively stain-free collection of t-shirts and tell me that this doesn’t work. (Please note that this is not an invitation to my home, or even a suggestion that you should look at me at all outside of these little videos we do.)
How did my revelation of this unorthodox practice go over? Dom was, it is fair to say, critical. The stance of our video production team, who left the entire anecdote in this video presumably as some sort of attempt at an intervention related to my Goodwill purchases, is clear. I respect their opinions and I appreciate their input. Please know this: I have not and will never take the hint.