The NBA Draft: When is it? What is it? Will you, personally, be selected in this draft? Look, man: I don’t know this shit and honestly I don’t appreciate being asked. That said, the NBA Draft is 1) happening on Thursday evening, 2) effectively random and reliably entertaining, and 3) unless your wingspan is significantly greater than that of the average Deadspin reader you can probably assume that you’ll still need to show up at your current job on Friday. The rest of it is unknown, and most of it will still be unknown even after the teams are done making their picks on Thursday night. This is what’s fun about the NBA Draft, mostly, beyond the basic wishcasting stuff—it’s all potentiality and speculation and how-will-the-Kings-fuck-this-up until next season starts. No one really knows anything, and therefore we can imagine whatever we want.
You should of course do that, before and after the draft and whenever else. This is what the offseason is for, and we leaned into that very heavily in this week’s Deadcast. Drew and I were joined by staff basketball-knower Giri Nathan, and we proceeded to ignore how little we actually know and get to work on speculating about what might happen and how cool it might be and how the Sacramento Kings will definitely fuck things up. We also touched on various types of other NBA bullshit, including the Dwight Howard To Brooklyn anti-blockbuster. You don’t have to take my word for it, we actually embedded the podcast right here in this blog post so you can listen to it.
But of course there’s more than just that. The Funbag invited us to explore the infinite possibilities of Bionic LeBron, we revisited some astonishingly bad takes by old friends Will Leitch and Tim Burke about passing on the chance to see real dinosaurs in real life and soccer players not being super hot, respectively. Also there is an unavoidably excruciating discussion of Anthony Lane’s distressingly horny review of The Incredibles 2 in The New Yorker and a brief and belated appreciation of Anthony Bourdain as a human being. Also Drew shouts out Raices Texas as an organization worthy of a donation to help the victims of the ongoing travesty on our southern border. You can’t do hyperlinks on podcasts, though, so if you want to donate you can do that here.
This has been a lousy week in the world. Don’t let the bastards or tyrants or seething orc-hordes get you down. We’ll be back.
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