Photo via Getty

Jared Goff got picked first overall by the Los Angeles Rams, where he’ll have the exalted privilege of going 8-8 and handing it off to Todd Gurley a bunch. And he’ll be compensated handsomely for his services, now that he’s not a “student athlete” playing for the diarrheal California Golden Bears. Another way he can make money is shilling for brands, and oh boy, he seems to be a natural. Look at these five tweets about five different brands, that my man tweeted today:


Please do not buy any of these products.

h/t Michael