Man Named Dokken Assaults Gopher Mascot Named Goldy
Before the rush to judgment commences, can we all agree that there is zero need for a buck-toothed mascot to obstruct the view of a 60-year-old guy who just wants to spend his Saturday enjoying some men's gymnastics? Cool.
Setting: University of Minnesota's Sports Pavilion.
Act I: Goldy Gopher sits behind Douglas Dokken. Starts "messing with him." Taps him on the shoulder. Ruffles his hair. Gets ignored.
Act II: Agitation persists for several minutes. Dokken turns around and punches Goldy in the face. Goldy freezes. Dokken swings again. Goldy leaves.
Witness Barry Colethorpe: "I think it was clearly amusing - it's not something you see every day. It was just two people fighting, but if one of them is dressed up as a 7-foot gopher, then it's pretty amusing."
Act III: Goldy tells supervisor and police officer what happened. They arrest Dokken, cite him for disorderly conduct and ban him from sports arenas for one year.
Dokken: "It was something I deeply regret. It was a moment of temporarily being upset, and I should have just walked out of there."
Ellen Sunshine, another witness: "I know Goldy is all in fun, but he did kind of overstep a little bit."
Goldy goes down after weekend fan assault [MN Daily]
Minnesota Daily report: Goldy Gopher punched out by fan [Star Tribune]
(H/T Several tipsters)
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