Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

We got this press release earlier today and, man, it's great. The Reading Fightin Phils, the Phillies Double-A affiliate in Reading, Pennsylvania, just reached an agreement with an ostrich farm in New Jersey—which, what?— that will allow the team to keep two ostriches at the stadium.

General manager Scott Hunsicker, well, he could not be more excited about this, really. In just a few lines, I am going to cut and paste a section of text from this press release, announcing the acquisition of two ostriches by a minor league baseball team in Pennsylvania from an ostrich farm in New Jersey, and I just want you to really pay close attention to every word. It's important.

“Fans can now experience and learn about farming and these unique animals from Africa just by attending a Fightin Phils game,” said Fightin Phils General Manager Scott Hunsicker. “We hope that families can fall in love with both farming and baseball from the allure of these magnificent ostriches.”


I've never been to Reading, Pennsylvania. I've heard it is a place that exists, though. I've also heard that most citizens of Reading, Pennsylvania have never had the opportunity to bask in the allure of the magnificent ostrich. Which is sad.

I once heard of boy who remarked to his father: "Say, Dad, baseball's cool and all, but I'd really like to learn about farming and unique animals from Africa while simultaneously attending a lower-tier professional baseball game. I know, keep dreaming, right? God, I'm so stupid."

Wrong, son! Wrong. We live in a world of infinite possibility. No task is too difficult, no dream too far-fetched. You can fall in love with both farming and baseball from the allure of the magnificent ostrich. Listen to Scott Hunsicker, it's already happening. Once dreamed, the impossible becomes merely improbable. So, yes, keep dreaming.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter