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Sure, you’re saying, that’s Shohei Ohtani. But whatever tomato can that teams are pulling out of the ‘pen, more likely than not, they have stuff just like this — if only for an inning. But then there’s another palooka right behind him. Are you really gonna get five singles in a row off that?

There has never been a rule that infielders have to stand in certain spots. The four of them were put there because teams figured it was the best place to put them. Now we know better. And plenty of things don’t look the way we’re used to in other sports. I remember in hockey when a guy teeing up a slapshot from one of the circles had a decent chance of scoring, with no screen or traffic whatsoever. You might see that a handful of times in the whole NHL now. Remember when the three-point shot was a gimmick?

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The problem is the pitchers, and it has been for years. They throw too hard, and they throw with too much movement. Move the mound, change the ball to have less spin, find a grip substance that doesn’t enhance spin, and crack down hard on the stuff that does. Get to the root of it. Because merely moving infielders a few feet isn’t going to solve much. What MLB thinks it needs to put on offer for hitters is already there. Except they know that it isn’t profitable to take it.

The argle-bargle: