Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

NFL Playoff Roundup: One Big Idiot Kicker

This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.

• Ordinarily, we come down on the side of kickers, if just because we have much more of a physical resemblance to them than 350-pound ogre lineman. But it's pretty much impossible to feel much sympathy for Colts gakker Mike Vanderjagt, whose missed field goal yesterday was somehow the perfect ending to one of the strangest games we've ever seen. We're not sure why we hate him so; maybe it's the earring. But his status as Supreme Goat seems like it's about two years overdue. Never before have we agreed so much with the label "idiot kicker."
• Ben Roethlisberger had more big tackles than Brian Urlacher yesterday, if you're counting.
• We watched that Bears-Panthers game with a bunch of Ditka-ites yesterday in a suburban Chicago bar. We actually saw someone wearing a Jim Miller jersey, which somehow makes us think they deserved to lose.
• Not to nitpick here, but we have a feeling the Colts offensive lineman would like to stuff "good teammate" Peyton Manning in a closet somewhere right now. (And as we know, he'd be in there with Kenny Chesney and not come out.)
• What was with Jimmy Johnson's hair in the FOX studio yesterday? It looked like he'd just had a quickie offset just minutes before going on.
• Honestly, every sideline shot of Tony Dungy yesterday made us look like the last thing on his mind was football.
• As lifelong fans of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, we can't quite get our heads around the fact that Jake Plummer is one home game away from the Super Bowl. We'll get into this more in the next week or so, but nobody knows the ups-and-downs of this guy better than Buzzsaw fans. Plummer is like a dog you had to get rid of because he wouldn't stop biting the neighbor, three years later, ending up becoming a bomb-sniffing hero dog who somehow sniffs out a terrorist plot. It's very upsetting.

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