Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•Despite's merchandise on offer (thanks to reader Nathan for the screencap), the Twins won the right to get swept by the Yankees. If you want more details, I think Dash is still liveblogging the game.

Shaq and LeBron looked good together in their first game, but call me after Shaq has 80 games on that odometer. And it's not a preseason game. Against the Bobcats.

•At least Miguel Cabrera's drinking led to a humorous police report in addition to what you've already read. In August, Cabrera "taunted an overweight 15-year-old boy" and had to be escorted out.


A vendor died of a heart attack while servicing the coffeemaker in the Dodger Stadium press box yesterday, which can't bode well for the team. Or at least the media members who want coffee.

•It's Brett Favre news, but don't stop reading. The gunslinger was named the league's most overrated player in an unscientific poll of his peers.


The Brooklyn Fishing Derby is being held this month, and it's a real thing. So that means the most likely catch, an empty can of StarKist, will not count.

•Courtesy of reader Jeffrey, we have a camerawoman getting a little too caught up in the excitement of the Twins' victory: