Photo: Craig Mitchelldyer (AP)

The Blazers spoiled LeBron James’s Lakers debut last night thanks to a big night from, uh, hmm, sorry, it says here that it was “Nik Stauskas,” which can’t be right?

According to the box score, testimony from viewers, and the NBA’s Twitter account, Stauskas absolutely went off last night, allegedly scoring a career-high-tying 24 points. Witnesses claim that he scored 13 straight for the Blazers over the end of the first and start of the second quarters, before going on to play the last 14 minutes of the game and putting the victory on ice with two free throws in the final 30 seconds. Video from the Rose Garden purports to show Stauskas nailing five three-pointers:

Stauskas’s fiancée told Jason Quick of The Athletic that she got so excited watching the spectacle that she passed out and injured herself:

“I stood up so fast I literally blacked out and fell over,” Alex said, showing off a cut on her left wrist from tumbling into the seat in front of her. “I was so excited because I know he wants this more than anything.”

We’ll update this story as more evidence comes in about whatever the hell it was that happened, here.