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If it's Friday, that means it's time for FOOTBALL UP YOUR ASS! at Oddjack. Here's a look at the Oddjack's best picks, GUARANTEED WINNERS*, for the upcoming football weekend.

Let's all pretend that Notre Dame isn't going to be destroyed by USC. Come on, it'll be fun!
• Everyone, and we mean everyone, is taking Penn State and the points over Michigan. Well, except the lesbians, of course.
• Don't mess with Texas ... unless you're getting 18 1/2 points.
• Bama-bama-fo-fama-mamma-mamma-mo-mamma ... BAMA!

* winners are not guaranteed