Your morning roundup for Aug. 15, the day after we learned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have moved on to a life of crime. Photo via GQ. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

What we watched: There was much wrangling over the weekend about this whole Texas A&M-SEC business, which wound up not happening ... for now! as everyone has been quick to surmise by reading the obvious.

But the portion of this story of most interest to us was reported by former Deadspinner Clay Travis at Outkick the Coverage. Travis noted out that ESPN has TV deals with both the Big 12 and the SEC, and that the Big 12 deal would be voided if the Big 12 were to drop below 10 members, resulting in a whole host of complications.


"Yep," Travis writes, "ESPN's television deals have so monopolized college athletics that its a major road bump in any conference realignment."

We're looking forward to how this portion of the story gets covered by the World Wide Leader.


Shot Heard 'Round the World now retroactively bad for the Jews: "Branca folded his bare arms and looked out onto the golf course. I asked if he had mentioned to anyone the reason for our lunch — the second revelation I had recently told him. He said he had told his wife, Ann. 'I said,' recalled Branca, '"do you know you married a Jew?"'" [NYT]


The Raiders are adorable: "Did you hear what happened in their opener against Arizona Thursday night? Raiders won the toss. One captain told the ref after the coin toss he wanted to defer. Another captain said he wanted to kick off. The ref heard the 'we want to kick off'' more prominently, and so he said the Raiders have chosen to kick off. That meant at the start of the second half, Arizona would get the choice.Of course, Arizona chose to receive to start the second half. That meant Oakland kicked off to start the first half and the second half in Game 1 of the Hue Jackson era." [MMQB]

Fixing the MLB logo: "There is no reason, really, why the MLB logo should feature a baseball that is in the strike zone, but, I dunno… it kinda bugs me that the logo features a pitch that's a ball. So, I altered the logo a tiny bit." [Flip Flop Fly Ballin']


Logan Morrison will now be doing his Tweeting from the Pacific Coast League: "Morrison, who has miffed Marlins officials with his tweeting and clubhouse candor, was nonetheless surprised and upset to be sent to Triple-A New Orleans. 'We just thought it was in the best interests of Logan to go down and concentrate on baseball and all aspects of being a major leaguer, and work his way back,' president of baseball operations Larry Beinfest said Sunday." [AP]

Your Three-Toed Sloth Crossing The Street Interlude:

Big Z, up close: "Throughout the interview, Zambrano was unrelentingly looking on the two of us with a half smile. He genuinely appeared both amused and amazed by what was transpiring in front of him, like a kid seeing his first 3D movie. I'm not sure if it was because how Guzman reacted to me — excited and forthcoming (Z had a strained relationship with the media) — or if he was just happy for his friend. His interest in a simple two minute interview with another player just seemed odd. Most guys, especially Z, avoided those things as best they could. He seemed to want to be part of it, but only in theory. When the interview was over, Zambrano put his head down and started fiddling with his mitt." [SB Nation Chicago]


We are all Dave McKenna CXCII: Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel lawsuit gets tossed in the Potomac.

Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.