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Ohio State Buckeyes

1. Jerky The Cornjerker. Every one knows that Thad Matta went to high school in the appropriately named Hoopeston, Ill. (OK, maybe just I knew that? But did you know that the Hoopeston mascot was Jerky the Cornjerker? He looks like this. I wonder what their version of The Tomahawk Chop looks like?

2. The Buckeyes Will Kill You. The Buckeyes usually get the short end of the stick when it comes to "mascot battles," with most just saying that "My (insert wild beast or human with weapon mascot) would eat your Buckeyes," ending the argument. What most fail to realize is that the Buckeye is poisonous to humans, horse and cattle, making the Buckeye the victor in many of these hypothetical scenarios (yeah, Texas). However, squirrels and badgers can eat Buckeyes with no ill effect, which explains Ohio State's struggles against Wisconsin. Maybe Michigan should consider changing its mascot. The Michigan Squirrels has a nice regal ring to it.


3. Slaves To Nike. Nike is unveiling new jerseys for the Buckeyes during the tournament, featuring a slim, tighter fit and Lebron James' LBJ23 Nike logo. What isn't known yet is whether these uniforms will also feature an inability to capitalize on natural talent, a desire to leave early for the NBA, and a general futility with the game on the line in the closing moments? — Anton Golden

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