OJ Simpson's Traveling Roadshow

Sure. We suppose there could be reason to believe that OJ Simpson's supposed "If I Did It, Here's How" confession book that comes out in a couple of weeks — full on with Fox interview where OJ apparently goes into full hypothetical bloody detail — is anything other than yet another OJ infomercial where he hints at the notion he might be a murderer to garner a paycheck ... but we can't find one.

Remember, OJ does this all the time. We had the famous Celia Farber, "If I did it, it was because I loved her" interview in Esquire, pretending to try to sell his White Bronco in a PPV special and, ultimately, just saying the hell with it and showing up at a slasher convention.

So we are a little confused why Simpson's theoretical confession is making news. Sure, he can say how he killed those two people; so could we, so could you, so could Lou Henson. OJ will always deny it publicly and in non-theoretical platforms, and it doesn't really matter, because everyone on earth will always know he's guilty anyway. There is a need, we think, to have Simpson punished in some town square, some reckoning, some final acceptance of the evil deed; it's the neat bow the decades-long story seems to need. But it'll never happen, and Simpson knows it, which is why he can trot out these little tantalizing charades every few years and see what sticks. We haven't eaten it up so far, but it's not stopping him from trying.

Or maybe we just don't care anymore. That would be nice.

OJ Simpson To Discuss Killings [Associated Press] OJ Simpson, Unplugged [Deadspin] The Rocky Horror OJ Show [Deadspin]