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The editorial staff of Oklahoma State’s student newspaper, The O’Colly, is NOT happy about Central Michigan’s Hail Mary Lateral play this past Saturday, which was one of the greatest college football plays of all time but which also technically shouldn’t have been allowed by officials.


But hey, sometimes refs fuck up and you live with it, right? WELL THAT AIN’T HOW THEY DO THINGS ‘ROUND STILLWATER. Let’s get right to these budding hot takers learning their craft.

Editorial: CMU has chance to prove its integrity

That’s the headline. We’re off to a rollicking start.

It doesn’t take much in-depth searching to find the Central Michigan University’s core values on its website.

“Webster’s dictionary defines VALUES as…”

The first one listed: integrity. It’s the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.


There we go. I knew we’d get a definition in there. That’s solid college work. I feel like this kids are right where they ought to be in terms of Take Development.

CMU has the opportunity to embody that.

Take a wild guess as to how!

The play that quieted Boone Pickens Stadium should have never happened.

Indeed. WON’T SOMEONE THINK ABOUT BOONE PICKENS STADIUM?! I think when you donate millions upon millions of dollars to a school and act as the athletic department’s de facto puppetmaster, you deserve the utmost in integrity from the opposition.

The NCAA football rulebook states that the game should have ended, despite the intentional grounding penalty. After the game, the officials admitted their hiccup. Now, all that’s left, is for CMU to accept the truth.


And the truth is… you still won! NICE! Amazing finish! Kinda glad the refs made that boner, frankly! Oh. Oh, is that NOT the feeling at OSU?

For the game’s result to be overturned, OSU must appeal to CMU and the Chippewas must approve it.


AHAHAHAHAHAHA well that isn’t gonna happen.

That’s easier said than done. The Chippewas would give up a win against a team from a Power Five conference. They would give up an easy road to tallying a 12-0 record… It’s not easy, but practice what you preach, Chippewas.


See now, this is where you kids still have some work to do. If this were a Mark Kiszla column, he would get right to the point: CMU cheated and should award the victory BACK to Oklahoma State. You gotta state your thesis up front, and then offer supporting points thereafter, such as:

  1. Having integrity is THE COWBOY WAY
  2. Something about asterisks
  3. “In this age of social media…”

You get the idea. I want this take rewritten and on my desk first thing Monday morning.

CMU can be remembered for a game-winning Hail Mary that shouldn’t have happened.


Yeah see, I’m only gonna remember the Hail Mary part of that. BECAUSE IT ROOOOLED HOLY SHIT KEGGER AT DELTA UPSILON!

They can use the play as a recruiting tool.

“If you play with us, we’ll stupidly give away wins to other schools.”

It’ll be free exposure on ESPN all season.

So true. ESPN loves to air plays that have been called back.

It’s an opportunity small schools dream of.

Small, teensy little CMU. Don’t you see how gifting a victory back to a large shitstomper of a school like Okie State helps YOU?

But how can CMU try to improve its university on a play that never should have happened? Especially when it motto begins with integrity? CMU, you claim to teach integrity. Now’s your chance. They say the best way to teach is by example. Here is that example.


All right, I’ve had enough. You ENTITLED MILLENNIAL TEENS at the O’Colly expect the world to do you a favor, do ya? BULLSHIT. The first thing ol’ T. Boone should have taught you is that LIFE AIN’T FAIR, SON. Some days, you win. Some days, you get beat on a freak play by CMU, and then suddenly the party buzz is killed for the night, and then Tina doesn’t want to go with you to Delta Tau party because she’s just NOT in the mood. In fact, she’s gonna study. STUDY! On a Saturday night?! That’s so beat! What the fuck, Tina? You’re not REALLY gonna study, are you? Admit it: you’re avoiding me. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? Why won’t you just TALK to me, huh? Is it Rob? Are you seeing Rob now? What does Rob have that I don’t?! GOD DAMMIT THIS IS ALL CMU’S FAULT.

[The O’Colly]

Drew Magary is a Deadspin columnist and columnist for GEN magazine. You can buy Drew's second novel, The Hike, through here.

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