Ole Miss Students Have Laptops Stolen, Mom Of Young Thief Writes Cryptic Apology Letter To Them

I don't know what to make of this odd letter that came to us today. The email it was attached to gives some more of the zany details and, if it's true, it's remarkably fucked up.

Here's the original email. [Sic]'d:

Background: College students at Ole Miss...

Got our laptops stolen from our house this past saturday. Filed police report, etc. Then found this note on yesterday (attached) inside a gatorade bottle on our front steps with change in the bottom of bottle (compensation/wieght)...

Read letter and found our 2 macbooks neatly placed about 50 yards behind our house in the woods under some bushes. No damages.

Do i really believe it was a mom and not some guilty thief. And if so do I put out a sign in front yard thanking the anonymous life saving mother?

Anyways, love deadspin, love sports blah blah blah. Gotta read the letter, unbelievable. Give me a shout if you think story is news worthy cause we def still cant get over it.

William

Young William must put the sign out front, if only to see how long this weird interaction can continue. If she always writes back, both parties should try to one-up each other in difficulty and creepiness: messages burned in lawns, random check-ins through skywriting, holiday cards in snow urine. This could be the start of a lifelong co-dependent friendship, similar to what the elderly couple who found their pink flamingos showing up in Europe experienced. Do it for life's rich pageant.

****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. She's got me dizzy.