Onions, Both Peeled And Grabbed, Win The Weekend

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the guy from the NCAA selection committee who peeled his metaphorical onions, and this happy Buccaneer from East Tennessee State, who merely gripped his.

Dan Guerrero is the chairman of the NCAA's selection committee. As such he is the man charged with justifying the complex process by which the committee arrives at decisions like, say, whether to hand Duke a Final Four berth on a tray or a doily. Yesterday, Guerrero did so via culinary metaphor. On CBS, he said:

We're looking at a lot of teams. When you start to peel back the onion, you are looking at everything.

And:

As we evaluate and peel back the onion, we look at a number of things.

And then in a conference call:

We deliberated at great length to make sure we peeled back the onion.

The bottom line is, as you start to peel back the onion, you start to look at certain criteria that make the difference.

When you have a larger under consideration pool, you're going to spend more time peeling back the onion, and that's what we did.

I have to doubt the wisdom of this particular analogy, if only for the simple fact that, well, onions stink. Fans of Illinois, Mississippi State, Virginia Tech, and Seton Hall will probably agree.

And then there was the joyous lad from newly minted No. 16 seed East Tennessee State, who grabbed his figurative onions on live television. I know, I know. Kids these days, etc. But you have to admire the gall of a player who, upon learning that he and his mates have the honor of being dunked repeatedly through the hoop by DeMarcus Cousins, decides to stand up and take firm hold of his nuts, right there in front of Lanny Davis's kid and the whole damn nation. That's the sort of spirit I want to see in my 16 seeds. Kentucky by 24.

Image via @Derrall