Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled Our Field Trip To Miller Park

We would like to formally thank everyone who made our visit to Milwaukee this weekend so enjoyable. We saw two NL Central "contenders" fire their closers, two games decided in the ninth inning and we even took the "hard hat" tour of the Miller Brewing plant, where we saw, first hand, why people are chubbier in the Midwest. Not that there's anything wrong with that.


A word, however, on Miller Park, and that retractable roof. The roof has been closed for every game so far this season, and we asked about 15 different people why that was — it didn't rain either day — and got about 15 different answers. (The Brewers have had tons of problems with their roof anyway.) Some said it was because it takes forever to open, some said it has to be a perfect day, some said the ball carries better inside and the struggling Brewers offense needed all the help it could get. But no one seemed to really understand why, and that includes several reporters who could, conceivably, ask.

But they did have dollar hot dogs all weekend and a massive parking lot in which we drank many Miller Lites and watched people play a game called "Testicle Toss." And the beer man freaked out our parents and us by saying, upon handing us our MGD Lites, "Hey, you're the guy who got yelled at on TV. Man, that guy was just goin' crazy." There are more HBO subscribers than we realized, apparently. We quietly sipped our beverages, kept score and remained focused on the game after that. Freaking Isringhausen.

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