When we received a reminder from the NHL about last night's NHL 36, a docu-reality show featuring Patrick Kane, the nice PR person predicted that we would make fun of him. (I can't imagine why!) Before we had a chance, Kane scored a shootout clincher that makes us want to take back every joke we've ever made, and replace it with a headline reading "Patrick Kane sought for rape of Niklas Backstrom."

We saved you the time of counting the moves. After he crossed the blue line, it's 14 stick handles and then the shot on a wide open net as Backstrom can do nothing but weep softly for the injustice of it all.