It’s football season again and this time of year most sites give you their weekly power rankings. But here at Deadspin, we go against the grain, so once again we’re bringing you our Powerless Rankings for 2022. This season we’ve even got a season preview of the teams you can expect to be pulling up the rear all season long. So, here’s a preview of the five teams you can expect damn near nothing from in 2022.
The Texans’ chances of finishing better than third in the AFC South are slim to nil. I’ll take it one step further and say they’ll pull up the rear and finish behind the Jaguars this season. Davis Mills is officially the guy in Houston, and while he does have some weapons, it will be an uphill battle.
On the positive side, Houston did go undefeated in the preseason. Although, we know that doesn’t always equal regular-season success. Unless you’re the Baltimore Ravens, who’ve won 23 consecutive preseason games dating back to 2016. They’ve been a perennial contender for the better part of a decade.
So, maybe this is the start of something new for Houston. If you’re a Texans fan, you should probably enjoy this year’s preseason success because it won’t carry over into the regular season. They probably won’t lose every game like the 2008 Lions and 2017 Browns (both were undefeated in the preseason), but another four wins this year is likely their ceiling.
Chicago is another team that went 3-0 this preseason. Surely, you’re noticing the pattern here. The Bears have a difficult schedule the first two weeks facing San Francisco at home and Green Bay at Lambeau Field. The Week 1 matchup pits two first-round QBs squaring off in Justin Fields and Trey Lance. Both had rough rookie seasons last year for different reasons.
Fields got knocked around when he did play behind that Bears offensive line. First and foremost, Chicago has to protect Fields better than they have thus far. There is optimism, though, with a regime change in the offseason. Well, besides the fact that Roquan Smith asked to be traded during the preseason.
GM Ryan Pace and head coach Matt Nagy are out and have been replaced by Ryan Poles and Matt Eberflus, respectively. Seems like ownership has something for Ryan’s and Matt’s. Aside from Bears fans, nobody expects much out of Chicago this season. In fact, most Bears fans aren’t expecting much, either. Chicago won six games last year, and that will certainly be their ceiling this season. Don’t be surprised if the Lions push them for third in the NFC North.
Sorry to break this to Giants fans, but it’s about to be another long year. Danny Dimes is back at QB, but he does have his No. 1 running back lining up behind him in Saquon Barkley. The 2018 Offensive Rookie of the Year missed all but two games last season. Barkley’s return is undoubtedly a significant plus for the G-Men.
Although the Giants play in a weak NFC East, it’s hard to locate more than four wins on their schedule, and that’s being generous. Barkley can only do so much if Daniel Jones can’t pick up his game. The Giants’ defense wasn’t the absolute worst last year, but it was far from Top 10. Let’s just say there’s much room for growth, and we might see a little this year. But overall, this is still a fourth-place team in the NFL’s worst division.
Seattle is no longer seen as the perennial playoff team it was with Russell Wilson under center. The Seahawks won seven games last year with Wilson missing time but still pulled up the rear in the NFC West. That division hasn’t gotten any easier, and Seattle now has the perceived worst starting QB in the division in Geno Smith.
Seven wins would be a miracle for the Seahawks in 2022, although head coach Pete Carroll would disagree. No one’s saying he shouldn’t believe in his guys. It’s just that no one outside of Seattle is buying what the coach is selling. There’s no way this is still a 10-win team, as Carroll suggests.
Smith won the preseason battle for QB and will lead the Seahawks into battle in Week 1 against Russell Wilson and the Denver Broncos (well done schedule makers). You can mark that one a loss already. Forget 10 wins; it’s hard enough to find five on Seattle’s schedule this season.
The Jets had a pretty good offseason. Unfortunately, they probably won’t improve enough to make a huge impact in the standings. At best, they’ll be the third-best team in the AFC East which isn’t exactly the toughest division in the NFL. And Zach Wilson is likely to miss the first month of the season, so there’s that. Good luck with Joe Flacco.
General Manager Joe Douglas went on a spending spree in free agency, bringing in some solid pieces but no real household names. In the draft, the Jets selected cornerback Ahmad “Sauce” Gardner (Cincinnati) fourth overall, so he’ll have tons of pressure in his rookie year. With the 10th pick, Douglas took Ohio State receiver Garrett Wilson. Then late in the first round, Douglas grabbed defensive end Jermaine Johnson of Florida State. So, the youth movement is in full effect at Florham Park.
Even with Wilson at QB to start the season, it would’ve been rough, but now that he’s out and Joe Flacco is running things, we can probably expect an 0-3 start at best. The Jets start the season with the AFC North. The Jets get the Ravens, Browns, Bengals, and Steelers in that order to start the year. Good luck finding a win there. Oh, and the Jets also won all three of their postseason games.