Hey, here's a fun little story. Remember last week when Fox Sports's Katie Nolan went on the BS Report, and she and Bill Simmons kinda coyly reminisced about a failed attempt at bringing her over to Grantland, in the way that people talk about these things on the BS Report, where they don't actually say anything, and the actual content of their conversation is, hey, look, we famous people know each other well enough to have stuff we can't really speak openly about in front of our audience? No, of course not, because why would anyone listen to the BS Report.
In any case, The Big Lead reports today that the proposed mechanism for bringing Nolan from Fox to ESPN was a trade: Nolan to Grantland, in exchange for ace soccer commentator Ian Darke. Apparently the whole thing fell through when Fox asked ESPN to include NASCAR reporter Marty Smith in the deal; instead, Nolan got a new show on FS1, and a guest appearance on a podcast to discuss what might have been.
We like Katie Nolan—she's smart, funny, and knows the difference between chugging and pouring beer on your face—and so intend no disrespect by saying that, c'mon, Ian Darke plus another reporter seems like a lot to ask for in return for her, unless Fox Sports is gonna throw in a protected first, or some cap relief, or at least a trade exception. I mean, jeez! I know Nolan's got another couple of seasons on her cap-friendly rookie deal, but, with the 2018 World Cup just around the corner, Darke's probably a max player!
Anyway, it's cool and fun when media organizations swap employees—or trade an employee for a cartoon rabbit—and they should do more of it. In order to facilitate some more wheeling and dealing, here are a couple other trade ideas we thought up.
Mike Florio (ProFootballTalk) and a top-20 protected 2015 first-round draft pick to GotNews.com for Chuck Johnson
The lunatic fringe fan-service site gets an established veteran to help its playoff push, while the other lunatic fringe fan-service site gets a floor-shitting idiot with orange hair to run it, so it can be more like the NFL.
Stephen Marche (Esquire) and a 2017 second-round pick to Grantland for Steven Hyden
Both of these guys need a change of scenery. This isn't the ideal spot for Marche to wind up—sadly, I don't think Starbucks is in the market—but with roughly twelve dozen people posting things on Grantland, we'd never see him again.
King Kaufman (Bleacher Report) and 943 unpaid hot-takers to ESPN for Bill Simmons
Eventually B/R's gotta swing all these assets for a max player, right? Otherwise what has the tanking scheme been all about? Quit punting to the future, guys.
Peter King (SI/MMQB) to the NFL for—
Ha ha, psych, he already works there.
Jason Whitlock (ESPN) to the New York Post for Phil Mushnick
New stomping grounds for two veteran trolls. Fair value, even if probably neither Post or ESPN readers would notice the difference.
What media trades would you like to see? Let us know down in the comments.