Report: The Olympics Opening Ceremony Features Gisele Bündchen Getting Assaulted

That supermodel Gisele would have a role in this week’s Olympics opening ceremony was a given, and previous reports indicated the Brazilian supermodel would have a “ sexy starring role.” But reports from witnesses of Sunday’s opening ceremony dress rehearsal explained to Brazil’s UOL that Tom Brady’s better half is part of a very weird segment that features her being assaulted and robbed. To the Google Translation:

Another curiosity was on account of a passage where Gisele Bündchen, parading to the sound of “The Girl from Ipanema”, will be assailed by an actor. In the end, however, the message of this scene will be peace.

The musicality, always exalting Brazilian artists, will soon be seen in the beginning, when Paulinho da Viola will perform the national anthem with voice and guitar. Following, a dance show with hundreds of artists will recreate the first moments of the history of the country at the Maracana field: the symbols of the first centuries will be present.

Still in the first hour reserved for the performing arts, the flight of a replica of the plane 14 Bis draw the attention of all. Soon after, the course is free for a parade of more than 100 meters from top international Gisele Bündchen. At this time, there will be a simulation of assault and even persecution.

We thought this sounded impossible, and perhaps a bad translation. But “assalto” is, in its most generous definition, “mugging.” ( Multiple athletes at the Games have already fallen victim to robbery—with one Chinese hurdler being gastrointestinally grifted.) The UOL report cites the presence of many Brazilian “clichés” in the ceremony, ranging from samba to slaves (?), so perhaps this is just part of a Brazilian sense of humor—but plenty of them aren’t happy:

After the rehearsal, police executed a controlled explosion at Maracana Stadium due to a suspicious package.

h/t to Pedro