Lucky for us and our readers, half of all intramural sports participants join up just to get in touch with their inner asshole. I suspect that most of these individuals are tolerable for most of the day, but once they throw on a T-shirt with a number on the back something changes inside them. Like this softball coach, who you know damn well read this email out loud in front of a mirror ten times before he sent it.

From: [redacted]
Date: 09/27/2010 03:24 PM
Subject: Fw: RSBL The "Commish" steps down!

For those who haven't seen this email yet, [redacted] the annoying softball commish is retiring. Thank goodness. The bragging that takes place in his email is absolutely world-class.


From: [redacted] <[redacted]>
To: [redacted]
Date: 09/27/2010 09:58 AM
Subject: RSBL The "Commish" steps down!


I would like to announce my retirement as the Commissioner of the [redacted] Softball League. This 2010 "One-Pitch" tourney will be my last act as Commissioner.

It has been a pleasure running this league.

Since I have taken an active part in this league six years ago I have had several accomplishments that exceeded my expectations. I drove a project that resulted in the construction of our current ball field at [redacted] - I am very proud of this field. I established a new relationship with the [redacted] Recreation Department where we now lease field use. I used surplus league funds to purchase field lining equipment and our silver "Italian Championship Cups" and the trophy case. I captained a new team that went from a winless season to eventually winning the Championships in both the B and A Leagues these last two seasons.

While running the league has been a lot of work - the league paid me back with the memories of these accomplishments of which I hope never to forget. It has been a great ride!

I could not have been as successful running this league if it were not for those working in the shadows: [redacted] who is my concierge, double checks the game schedule - which often needs correction - and is the liaison for the umpire organization. He is truly the man behind the curtain. [redacted] who is our score keeper and web site designer for all the years that I have been commissioner - and then some. [redacted] who was the League Treasurer for many of those years.

I have no regrets - I am going out on top - it just does not get any better than this.

I sincerely thank everyone in the league for the memories!

RSBL Commissioner

More Life Lessons: The Kickball Tyrant | His Female Counterpart | The Remorseful Softball Boyfriend | The Sweaty Soccer Coach | The Entitled Former Lifeguard


Have you received a similar email from an rec league moron? Send them along, please.