Rock Out With Your Shuttlecock Out

Nobody knows what it's like to be Wong Choong Han: The nationally ranked shuttler is feeling a little pressure to succeed in upcoming natoinal play. Wong, in a rare moment of self-reflection, realizes that if he doesn't get his shit together before the German Open, his top-three status in the Badminton Association of Malaysia could be compromised. "But yes, it has been quite long since I last won an individual title. Five years is a long time and I do not have much time left. Hopefully, I will be able to nail at least one title," he tells the Malaysia Star. Come on, Wong. You're a Choong Hang for, Christ's sake.

Punjab Junior Fever: It's a dark day Waled Sayeed of Gujranwala as he got positively owned by Raja "The Shiny Brown Phantom" Hasnain of Hafizabad at the Punjab Junior championships yesterday. Even though the raucous crowd at New Khan Hall was clearly in his corner the whole time, Sayeed just couldn't stave off the tremendous birdie shots of Hasnain. Tough, tough loss.

Nobody puts Guru Prasanna in the corner: Longtime champion Guru Prasanna woke up out of his blessed goat-induced coma to come away victorious at the Annual Badminton Tournament of the Indian Social Club Muscat sponsored by Al Hajiry Group/Palm Restaurant. Prassana wiped the floor with Zakariya M.P. for the singles title in straight games 21-15, 15-9. Yeah, where's your bloody monkey's paw, now, Zakariya?