Even if it’s not true — and this rings of being “too good” — I had to write about Russell Wilson maybe flipping a golf cart into a bunker during an outing at Arrowhead Golf Course in Littleton, Colo. The possibilities for jokes are endless, and honestly, the pressure of finding the best one is making me anxious. So, I’m going to share the tweet about Wilson’s allegedly impromptu visit to the beach and give myself a couple minutes to think of one.
The Broncos haven’t won at Arrowhead since 2015, but this is getting out of hand. That’s a little too on the nose. I haven’t seen a shank that bad at Arrowhead since Week 17. Not quite there yet.
How about, I know Russ has been trying to bury his head in the sand since the middle of October, but there are better ways to go about it. It’s mid-April, and Broncos players are still taking L’s at Arrowhead?
Dammit, this is stressful. I know Twitter is already having a field day with this, and I wish I had more time for a well-crafted remark, but not in this day, and age of 24/7 news cycles and lively group text threads. If you can’t get at least two “Haha” reactions to your Danger-Russ golf cart jokes, you possess the personality of beige paint and should focus more on sharing funny stories rather than being funny yourself.
The world needs ditch diggers, too.
Yes, I’m just stalling until I think of something better, funnier, timeliner. OK, I think I have one. How can the Broncos trust Russ to consistently drive their offense 80 yards when he can’t drive a golf cart 18 holes? Boom. Print it, Jeeves.