Russell Wilson Wants To Clarify What His Scam Water Can Do For Concussions

Russell “Nanobubbles” Wilson said his magical miracle fraud water helped him get over a blow to the head in the NFC Title game, what he really meant was that the stuff is so puissant, it actually stopped him from getting a concussion in the first place. Oh, that’s much more believable.

The Seahawks quarterback says his comments about getting brained and playing on thanks to the salubrious properties of Recovery Water™ were “perceived wrong.” Well, first let’s take a look at what he said in that

Wilson is an investor in Reliant Recovery Water, a $3-per-bottle concoction with nanobubbles and electrolytes that purportedly helps people recover quickly from workouts and, according to Wilson, injury. He mentions a teammate whose knee healed miraculously, and then he shares his own testimonial.

“I banged my head during the Packers game in the playoffs, and the next day I was fine,” says Wilson. “It was the water.”

Rodgers offers a hasty interjection. “Well, we’re not saying we have real medical proof.”

But Wilson shakes his head, energized by the subject. He speaks with an evangelist’s zeal.

“I know it works.” His eyes brighten. “Soon you’re going to be able to order it straight from Amazon.”

And let’s see how Wilson attempted to clear things up yesterday:

“I didn’t have a concussion,” Wilson said. “I guess it was perceived wrong. I did not have a concussion. I was saying that I had been consistently drinking the water for a month and a half — five, seven times a day. And I was like, ‘Man, maybe this stuff is helping me out.’

“I didn’t have a head injury, but what I was trying to say is I think it helped prevent it,” he said. “I think your brain consists of like 75, 80 percent water, so I think that just being hydrated, drinking the recovery water really does help.”

Your brain is mostly water, so drinking superwater must make it even stronger is the argument of a dumb person trying to sound smart. Or a smart person with a financial stake in convincing dumb people his superwater works.

Anyway, Wilson’s claims are ludicrous, and actively harmful in a world where snake-oil and homeopathy are allowed to share shelf space with actual medicine, and scam millions of people out of millions of dollars every day. And if Wilson convinces one young athlete that he can treat his concussion symptoms with a bottle of water, he’s done real physical harm.

Or maybe if the bubbles were even smaller, he would have put the ball on Ricardo Lockette’s back shoulder.