The Terminator, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and I, Robot all tried to warn us, but we’re not listening. The basketball robot known as CUE5 has been turning heads with its incredible shooting skills. Last night, during halftime of the USA-France gold medal game, it continued to threaten the livelihoods of the game’s best sharpshooters.
Yes, the robot only sank this logo shot after missing a three-pointer, and the robot bricked two half-court shots in an appearance earlier in the Olympics:
However, those misses are not typical for CUE5. Throughout its several appearances in these Olympics, it has consistently sunk shots from half court, three-point range, and the free-throw line. How long before it learns to posterize Rudy Gobert?
Obviously, there are still kinks in the system that need to be ironed out before our robot overlords are capable of self-replication and make us kneel before them. For example, the robot takes longer at the free-throw line than Giannis Antetokounmpo — a feat that many of the world’s greatest minds once thought impossible. However, the human race’s curiosity and desire to improve will continue to push this machine to its limits. With robot umpires becoming more and more prevalent in baseball, the ROB-OT BMS 1000 slowly becoming the world’s greatest golfer, and FORPHEUS learning to handle a table tennis paddle better than Forrest Gump could ever dream, it’s only a matter of time before the robots start learning how to shoot skeet, and at that point, it will already be too late.
Even if the robots can’t get their hands on firearms, robots have already started making waves in the world of sumo wrestling. They feel no pain, they don’t feel fatigue, and soon they’ll be able to go toe-to-toe with Terunofuji Haruo or Hakuhō Shō… we’re screwed.
I think humanity’s only hope at this point is that the inevitable swimming robot short circuits as soon as it hits the water. Maybe we, as a species, can live on the water for several generations and eventually evolve into a subaquatic species, safe from the cruel metal world we created.